Are You there?
Sorry, I suppose that was a silly question...I mean I know You're always there it's just that it seems like such a long time has passed since we've talked....ya know?
"I'm glad we're talking now."
So am I, but...um...I guess I just needed to know You were listening.
"I'm always listening."
I know...I must sound so stupid to You, but sometimes..
"You do not sound 'stupid'...please, go on."
Okay, stupid is the wrong word...it's just that there's so much 'stuff' I'm trying to cram into my life and when so much time passes between our talks...well, part of me has to wonder why You would even bother listening to me...
"Was that a question?"
I...uh, oh of course, no that really wasn't a question...gee, now I feel really stup...uh...ungrateful.
"It saddens Me that you would make yourself feel that way."
Well, uh...oh dam..er darn this is not coming out right.
"I hear more than your words."
I'm sorry....maybe it's just that with so many really good people out there.. I guess there are times I...well, so often lately I seem to lose my focus and direction...and I guess I find it hard to believe You'd still be there for me...I guess I think that You'd consider me a waste of time.
"I consider you precious. We could talk a lot about 'time' but let's agree that I have a different perspective on that issue.
You certainly are 'guessing' a lot, but I think you also should concede that I'm going to win any guessing games."
Ha! That's for f...er...dam...uh....That's true! I'm so sorry, I must sound...
"You 'sound' like you want to talk."
I do! That's the whole thing! I want to talk more often and I feel so ashamed that we haven't and even more confused about why we haven't ...
"I understand that particular confusion.
Your "feelings" however are of your own making. We are talking now and that gladdens Me."
Me too! I suppose it's all the other stuff in my life that's preoccupied me...ya know money, work, family, worrying about this, or that, the kids, the future, friends, family...car repairs...smelly dogs...and
"I agree you have a lot of 'stuff.'"
"I've already forgiven you."
I'm sor...I mean, I know...and I'm so thankful believe me.
"I will always believe in you."
Oh man....You are so wonderful, I can't believe I've let so much time pass without us talking. I guess...er suppose...what I'm trying to say is that maybe I need to get rid of all this other stuff so I can have more time with You.
Perhaps? Are You saying there's another way? Like maybe You could give me a dose of Your time, so I'd have more time and then we'd have more time?
"It's hard to confuse Me, but I admire and am admittedly amused by that attempt."
Ha! I love Your sense of humor ya know?
"I love yours too."
I suppose thinking I could even comprehend Your time is silly. It's really pretty silly to think I could actually go "all Thoreau" on the world and rid my life of all the 'stuff' too.
I mean, that's where You're leading me isn't it?
"I'm simply listening. You seem capable of finding your path."
See! That's one of the other things I really love about our talks...I feel like they clear my thinking.
"The feelings you create that bring you joy, bring Me joy."
So...I mean I don't wanna take up too much of Your time...I
"Let's not revisit the time thing."
Okay, alright...but You know, well, of course You know what I mean. Well, what I'm getting to...or ...uh...well it's that maybe...sor...er...I mean not maybe. I mean the answer is definitely not ridding my life of everything... of all the 'stuff' that seems to be between us.
"I'm still listening...always. Remember?"
Ha! Of course, sor...er but You gotta admit that I'm flyin' a little blind here. I mean I can't see Your reaction to what I'm sayin' and all... I mean if someone were watching me right now they'd think I was talking to myself.
You're leavin' me hangin' here for fun...aren't You?
Got it...silly train of thought that's already been covered.
But that's the thing...it's all this silly stuff that I let in the way.
"I see the stuff. All the stuff."
I know, I'm sor...I mean thank You so much for tolerating my babbling. I know what I need to do now...I think. I mean I'm sure I know.
"That pleases me greatly."
Wow! What a concept... me pleasing You!
I forgot what I was going to sa...no I didn't. ....The answer is all the silly stuff stuff!
"The silly stuff stuff.
Do you think that might need a bit more fine tuning?"
Well, truthfully I was going to say 'stupid' stuff stuff but...well...um...anyway, I've got your point. Poor choice of words. What I'm trying to say is that the stuff isn't the problem... the stuff is the solution!
I don't need to get rid of it...I need to share it!
All of it.
"Sharing the silly stuff stuff is the solution."
Hey, now You're just mockin' me ...you know what I'm getting at.
Okay...okay...fleshing it out...got it.
You are always here right?
"I am with you always."
Exactly! But until I let You be with me AND all my silly stuff, I'm not always entirely with You!
I should be letting You in on my fears and frustrations, asking You for guidance about the bills, the car repairs, work, health...family. The big stuff, the little stuff...all the silly and not so silly stuff.
I know I'm babbling again, but the more I share with You the more we are together and talking...and...ya know...having a real relationship. So..um...uh...well, I suppose that's it.
I need to share my stuff...with You.
Whether that makes sense to anybody but me is, as always, debatable.
Not to be pushy, but I really think some acknowledgment on Your part is due here....
"I apologize. I was smiling.
Your thought process really is quite amusing.
I am glad you've come to this conclusion. We will make a good team. Let's conquer the silly stuff! I'm going to enjoy this...we're going to enjoy this!"
Great! And thank you!
Um...and not just thanks for agreeing to helping me deal with all my stuff, but thanks for listening too.
"The listening thing is a two way street."
Ha! True..so true. Anyway, we'll talk more soon. Thanks again!
One last thing.
Happy Father's day!