Monday, March 03, 2008

Swurfp's Up and Other Chemistractions

After spending all of my time at the computer lately actually doing work type stuff, or learning how to do work type stuff, I know I need to stop for a bit. I need a distraction, which luckily I've found thanks to Wired.

It's a list of 10 Amazing Chemistry videos although a few of them I'm not exactly amazed by. Don't get me wrong, they are interesting, but they have that chemigeek aura which evokes memories of "homework" (not that I ever took chemistry) which in turn reminds me of the work I should be doing. You might not be able to follow my thinking - not to worry, you're hardly the first - but suffice it to say I'm guilty of skimming through a couple.

First off, before you see the origin of the image below, what's it look like to you?

No, it's not the Virgin Mary - well, at least no one is claiming it to be as far as I know, but then again I only now posted it - and don't put too much pressure on yourself, there is no "right" answer. It's subjective...and face it, it's not like anyone is going to hear your answer anyway.

I'll go me it looks like a swan...or a Smurf...or one of those rubbery non-biodegradable Easter[Pause for a 'Senior moment']...oh yeah, Peeps©. I'm opting for a blend of all the above and calling it a "swurfp."

As you'll see, it's neither edible or something you'll want your kids to handle much less eat. It also doesn't have the staying power of a "Peep©" although admittedly, beyond uranium by-products, I'm not certain if anything does...

Presenting:the Swurfp

So by now you've either gone back to work or you're curious as to the swurfp's origins. I'm not going to think too much about which camp you've chosen. Therefore, keeping with the theme of distraction - here's the video:

Cool huh? As I mentioned, Wired has 10 videos you can check out, I'm only pirating one more which I think fits my "theme." Well, it's at least at the same basic level as swurfpism in that it involves something sort of cute which we associate with kids, or perhaps your inner child - a little red Gummi bear.

Harmless, innocent... at least upon entry to our digestive systems, I'm not so sure how our bodies deal with our gobbling down dye infused quasi-edible rubber stuff, but I do know that in the following chemistry video one red Gummi bear is...transgummed. I don't want to spoil it, but he definitely loses steam in the cute and edible departments.

The video speaks for itself but for the chemigeeks amongst us, the ingredients at play are one red Gummi bear and a mixture of oxygen, chlorine and potassium. That sounds innocent - not Gummi bear innocent - but nothing to spark gummimania. You chemigeeks surely already realize this, but for my fellow chemistracation depribates allow me to explain that the trio of oxygen chlorine and potassium can be combined into what's known as potassium chlorate.

Yes, you do too know it, you just don't know you know it. You probably have used potassium chlorate lots of times in your life, it's in disinfecting agents, "safety" matches,

Further elaboration seems unnecessary, they say in Hollywood and no doubt in highly lit storage units rented by low budget pornographers,"Let's roll the video!"

Goodbye Gummi! I'm getting all misty...then again so did Gummi.

I don't know if the teacher responsible for the gumminnihilation was wearing goggles or a mask to prevent breathing in the gummigas - nor do I know if gummifumes are hazardous although since potassium chlorate is an ingredient in matches and fireworks, I imagine simply the gummivaporative odors merit some prophylactic filtration.

The video does clearly show the little red Gummi bear's fumifier is not wearing gloves, which doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Then again, I never studied chemistry.

I actually am fairly well versed in English and yet amid my frenzy of fictitious phraseology who am I to criticize the practices of a gummicutioner?

Obviously I'm a borderline bacchanalian entymologesiac, and borderline probably isn't the right word.

I should have stopped at Swurfp...but then I wouldn't have distracted you this long...

Where's the humoriversion in that?