First off, did you see "Dear Abby" today?
Here is one of the queries:
I have been dating "Leon" for a few months. He is smart, cute, ambitious, caring, a great kisser and has a fantastic sense of humor. The problem? He gives new meaning to the phrase "Got milk?"
Leon still has the remains of the first gallon of milk he ever purchased when he moved into his apartment. (He had overestimated the amount of milk he would consume and before he knew it had a gallon in his fridge that was three weeks past its expiration date.) Time passed, and still it remained there. Soon it was 6 months old and a novelty.
Abby, Leon has kept this container of milk through two roommates, three girlfriends, seven jobs and two refrigerators. It will soon be five years. He seems to have formed some sort of sentimental attachment to it. Can it still be classified as milk? Leon is entertained by the reaction he gets when people hear about it and even has a blog about it with a picture.
If our relationship is to get serious, I see a "me or the milk" ultimatum in our future. Is it asking too much for him to leave his life of keeping expired dairy, or should I cut my losses and seek a dairy-free bachelor? Or should I just accept it as a souvenir or a pet?
LACTOSE INTOLERANT in Oregon
Seriously! Her response was cheesy, and you can hunt it down for yourself if you're really interested, but essentially Abby said the guy had to choose between his love of stale dairy products and his girlfriend. I'm amazed he's had ANY girlfriends, but that's besides the point.
I really wanted to track down his blog, but that would be even more of a waste of time. However it did seem ironic this morning, after reading that column, I was at Starbucks ordering some badly needed quad lattes for Amy and myself and I asked that mine be made with soy milk.
The "Batrista's" response?
"Sorry, we're out of soy milk. We do have organic milk though, would you like to try that?"
I'm sorry...but I burst out laughing.
Yes, I am aware that they sell non-pasteurized milk for folks whom I guess want to die like thousands of their ancestors, however I sort of thought ALL milk was "organic."
Well, it struck me as funny...and I figured I'd milk it for all it's worth.