I drove into work this morning - 1 a.m is morning to me - after giving up on sleeping several hours prior, and listened to sports talk radio which at that time of day does seem - like the highways - to attract its inordinate share of drunks.
I listened as a caller asserted and the host (the sobriety of both in doubt) agreed that the Spurs win in Utah "was part of an NBA conspiracy to prop up the Spurs because they don't have tattoos, and have a lot foreign players."
I chuckled about it as I went through my normal routine of sifting through faxes looking for actual news. There were the usual two or three faxes from a little old lady who sends faxes almost every day to my office, the White House, various members of Congress and I'm sure any number of others. She gets a thorn in her craw about almost everything...and immediately fires off a fax. She sometimes sends one, sometimes twelve. One topic per fax since she's apparently convinced we live in a short attention span world - a position with which I can't necessarily disagree. Today one issue which demanded immediate action was the repeal of taxes on social security benefits, and then another fax called Bill Clinton a traitor and urged President Bush not to allow U.N. troops on to U.S. soil. Then she said if the President didn't agree, he was a traitor.
She always signs her faxes, "God bless you."
I hung onto a fax from a local animal care outfit that conducts free spay and neuter clinics announcing they were planning to have a couple of clinics in the weeks ahead. They wanted me to remind people to bring their cats to them "in cages or pillow cases."
I called a few people, including a police officer who told me how he had arrested a young woman for endangerment to a child. Apparently Mom couldn't keep her 14-year old daughter in line and their argument spilled out onto the front yard of their home where Mom decided to get her teenager's attention with 50,000 volts of electricity. She zapped her three times with a stun gun.
I wrote a story about another woman whose goal is to have "the biggest breasts in Europe." She had been fired from her job and couldn't understand why her boss told her that she and her "42-H" surgically altered breasts were not an asset to the company.
I then came across a story of a new reality show. This a Dutch program where a terminally ill woman will choose one of three contestants to receive one of her kidneys. Viewers can vote for their favorite potential kidney recipient via text message.
I was wrapping up my duties for the day when a song popped into my head as I stumbled across a delightful new filing with the patent office by an inventor who wants to merge two technologies...the washing machine and the MP3 player.
I still had that tune in my head...and I thought to myself,"Some day I may be able to sit by my washing machine and listen to Louis Armstrong sing it."
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world