Sunday, August 20, 2006

Resting In What Will Come

We are restless, anxious, excited, and concerned these days. I suppose to some extent we are always that way, you need only substitute different triggers for our responses.

I'm restless about Amy's health, anxious and excited about the Moldova trip, concerned that what we hear as a calling may be more than we can tackle.

So I pray.

Amy has had a string of "bad days" recently something she hasn't experienced in a while. We go back and forth trying to "guess" why and inevitably return to the now too common reality that there could be many reasons.

I tossed and turned last night seeking solace, sanity, sleep.

This morning I grudgingly went to church without Amy. I was met at the door by my friend Ben, who plans to join us in our Moldova adventure. Another good friend came up, concerned about Amy, and Ben mentioned that Amy and I would be part of the "Moldova team." My other friend said something to the effect of, "I just pray that Amy's healthy enough. You don't want to be someplace foreign and have a health crisis."

His concerns were genuine. He was only giving voice to the same thoughts which have dampened my sleep. I'm not sure where it came from, but I suddenly found myself saying quietly, "There's no safer place than within God's will."

The remark startled me...and I'm the one who said it. My friends looked at me with a somewhat visible degree of shock.

They know me. That's not the type of thing I say too fact, ever.

Yet, I somehow knew the words before they sprang from my lips.

I don't like going to church without Amy. It's hard for me to keep my emotions in check. I sat next to Lee, our former housemate/Katrina refugee who tries to attend church with us at least once a month, which made me more comfortable.

Without Amy, the music team opted to sing hymns selected by members of the congregation on the fly. I left the choosing to others.

We started with Blessed Assurance...we wrapped up with Trust and Obey.

I think I'll sleep easier tonight.

But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." - Psalm 31:14