Wednesday, June 28, 2006

A Fuliginous Start


My father-in-law has one of those "word of the day" desk calendars and today's word is "fuliginous."

To spare you the trouble of having to look it up, I'll give you the basic definition which is sooty, murky...having a dark or musky color.

I'm not sure it applies exactly, but I'm finding it appropriate today, the first supposedly care-free day of my vacation and also my birthday.

I was greeted by a courageous email from the Program Director of one of the radio stations I work with, whom I've never met, informing me that "he hated to do this by email" but they've got a former employee moving back to their city and they're going to hire her to do the job they have been paying me to do remotely.

Fu...fuliginous was the first word that popped to mind (ahem). In truth I don't blame the guy at all, I have been saying for months this was going to happen because of other changes made at my office which have resulted in a poorer quality product being produced both in terms of the "sound" of our radio stations but also in terms of the reliability of being able to provide for the needs of stations in other markets.

My criticisms have been largely ignored, so now we're reaping what we've sown. It's unfortunate that it's costing me money, but it might also finally light a fire under some folks to take a hard look at the future and perhaps they'll see the flaws in our long term plan which I've been prophesying for many months.

This particular station paid me more than most others I work for, so it's a significant financial hit. However it's not the end of the world by any means. I'll still be making enough money to keep a roof over our heads.

I will admit this is not the way I envisioned starting my vacation or marking this birthday, but the more I think about it, the more upsides I see. In fact, it may very well be exactly the "push" I needed to make a course change that I've been on the fence about. God has worked in far less obvious ways in my life, I wouldn't be surprised if 6 months from now I'm not looking back and saying, "Thank goodness that change happened or I might never have thrown myself into this other area."

God is going to take care of us...of that I am sure. Whether we have to struggle a bit along the way is hardly unexpected and we're really fairly well practiced at it. God has used suffering and struggle a great deal in my life and the lives of others to keep my journey pointed toward Him.

In any case, the change will have some immediate benefits. I will be able to sleep in a little later, I'll be able to do a better job for the other stations I work with, and the constant pressure to meet so many deadlines every morning will be gone.

I'll actually be able to be like my co-workers and occasionally get up from my seat and go take a coffee break or chat with folks, whereas for years I have been virtually chained to my computer from the moment I walk in the door to the moment I run out.

I suppose every cloud does have a silver lining...even the fuliginous ones.