Thursday, January 19, 2006

Boundaries & Beyond

Amy and I have decided we have to set some boundaries for the Gomez family members.. I started with John by limiting some of his privileges and requiring that he treat everyone with respect in order to be treated with respect. This has actually worked out quite well. I think John was looking for structure and he's been pleasant (as pleasant as a 14 year old can be) and respectful.

We also had to set boundaries for me and Amy. We've let the needs of the Gomez family usurp our needs so we're both trying not to get too involved in the minutiae of their lives and instead fulfill the promise we made to God, that we would shelter this family and provide transportation as needed.

That means Lee has to find a tutor for her math homework. Ana and John have to let us know their schedules in advance and can't expect us to drop everything when they decide to alter their routine.

Sometimes this means we have to say, "No."

I think that this too is working. It's pushing us in the direction of realizing that maybe the most help we can provide for the Gomez family is to gently force them to help themselves. We need to convince them they can make it on their own and so we're working in that direction.

We're never going to abandon them but I think we're closer to finding them an apartment, and helping them live within a budget. We'll have to help them along the way, but we're prepared for whatever sacrifice is necessary.

You see boundaries don't necessarily have to confine you...sometimes they allow you to finally envision your goals.