Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Stupid Human Tricks

We call it "Talent Night" at the church but it's a lot closer to "Stupid Human Trick" night. That's not to say we don't have a lot of talented folks in the church, it's more that most folks keep their talents hidden...well hidden...real well hidden.

Anyway tonight is Talent Night so I've been practicing my talent...for several minutes. I don't play an instrument. I don't sing...or at least I don't sing well. You can scratch dancing, joke telling, impersonations and being a mime off the list too.

My talent is....pillow spinning.

I can take a small couch cushion or other pillow and twirl it on my fingertip.

Don't laugh...this took years of laziness to perfect. I spent hours and hours lying on the couch watching reruns of M*A*S*H or shows that were equally challenging to my mental acuity while mastering this particular skill.

Now each year people come from miles around to see me "perform" for I only pull out this marvelous ability once a year on our church "talent" night.

Okay, we also serve dinner and that might serve as a mild inducement for some of the folks who show up, but others I'm certain are there to see the pinnacle of pillow spinning.

As you might have discerned by now a large part of my "act" involves must because each year several people actually remain in their seats to watch me spin a pillow on my index finger.

This year I'm incorporating something assistant. Ana, one of our houseguests, still thinks I'm joking but I plan to drag her up front with me to help as I mesmerize and astound the crowd.

Okay, I'm not above using a teenage girl who fled New Orleans in my act to avoid getting booed. starts in 25 minutes...I better get ready and put in some practice. I wonder if we have a pillow?