Tuesday, June 14, 2005


I don't watch a lot of daytime TV. Primarily I nap or write during the day plus there doesn't appear to anything of value on the basic cable channels for which we pay 13 bucks a month. Today I was killing some time...in other words eating...and looking for something to watch during the 5-7 minutes it took to wolf down the remaining enchiladas Amy had made a couple of days ago. I swear in that small amount of time I watched 10 seconds of about 20 different commercials for various "Career Schools" while flipping channels.

There was a medical technician school, some Hollywood glamour school, court reporter school, schools for computer technicians, truck drivers....it went on and on and on and on. They were the only commercials on TV. Mid-morning is obviously prime time for the unemployed.

Then I stopped on a couple of shows where these ads run.

"Cheaters" a show where people, usually people living together without the benefit of marriage but with the benefit of children, suspect their beloved is cheating on them so private detectives go out and prove it for them on national TV and then they confront the cheater and the man/woman with whom the cheater cheats. All this is done with the crying cheated upon person - who presumably called this show's 800 number instead of paying attention to the commercials for a career in body hair removal - leading the way while accompanied by various body guards who are there to protect the host as well as assorted sound men and camera technicians. Then there is yelling, and crying and bleeped out obscenities. Occasionally someone throws a punch. Later there's a follow up where the audience is astonished to learn this blessed union has fallen apart.

Here's a clue...if you are calling the TV show "Cheaters"....your relationship has already fallen apart.

Jerry Springer is still on the air....I couldn't watch long enough to figure out what his exact topic was, but it seemed to be similar. Scantily dressed people screamed words that were bleeped, occasionally their clothing fell off to the point the camera shot had to be blurred - all parties involved were obviously angry with each other. There were body guards to keep people from hitting guests and members of the audience. Sometimes they weren't quick enough to control the rage. Jerry kept his distance.

I turned the TV off and tried to go to sleep but I admit I also said a small prayer that I never need a medical technician or court reporter or truck driver or laser hair removal or...