Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Wayne & Jasus

I've embarked on a dangerous path...I've attempted to open a dialogue with someone I have admitted to my "Ignatius File."

I won't go in to great explanation, you can click on the archive link above to learn more but basically it's a file I keep of the correspondence received from various individuals whose thought patterns are usually quite elaborate and often a little skewed. I call it my "Ignatius File" since I tend to think of the Ignatius J. Reilly character from the book A Confederacy Of Dunces when I receive such letters, hand written scrawls, screeching tirades, cards, multi-page theses or emails.

Today I received one from a man who says he is in Nacogdoches - that's East Texas where strange things have been known to breed in the minds of many of man and the discovery of oil only added to the collective madness. I won't print it out here but I edited out small portions that might be used to identify him and posted the email here. However now after a very cursory search I find this guy has a blog the contents of which are even more confusing.

In any case, I invite you to read his theory, but believe me I have no expectation that you will comprehend one word. For those of you who don't want to read his supposition I'll boil it down as best I can: I gather he believes our names dictate our behavior and using Jasus the name computer he has proven such...at least in his mind.

Nonetheless I decided to write him back. I'm sure this is a decision I will regret, but since I have repeatedly mentioned my "Wayne Axiom" I felt somewhat obligated to seek this gentleman's wisdom regarding the name "Wayne" and how or if it fit into his equations. If you're not familiar with my musings on the name Wayne suffice it to say I believe people named Wayne are predisposed to evil...usually serial killing. Whenever I make that statement I hasten to add that if your name is Wayne I'm sure you are the exception.

Anyway it now occurs to me that I did not ask this emailer if his name might be Wayne before I wrote to him. That could prove to be a critical error on my part; however I also corresponded through my work address so hopefully, should that prove to be the case, he'll at least have to get through our on site security...and our receptionist is known for her tackling skills.

In any case, when I awoke from my nap this man's email was like manna from the sky. It gave me something completely meaningless to write about today and who knows what fruit it might bring forth in the days to come.

This will also explain why you might see me looking over my shoulder more often.