Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Change, Change, Change...

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.~ W. Edwards Deming

I suppose it's human nature to resist change. We're comfortable with the known, even when the known is somewhat uncomfortable.

Since I started doing news for additional radio stations I have had a hard time getting into sync, this is due in part to my schedule being a little whacked out with Amy's health issues, mid day doctor appointments, etc....but I've come to the decision that it's also because I was trying to fit my new duties into the "system" I had used for years, i.e. working from home for an hour or two and then going into the office. Today I decided to change the pattern. I simply went to work to do my job instead working from home. All of a sudden I had a better grip on my time - I didn't feel like I was racing the clock quite as much. What's odd is that I'm not waking up earlier, I'm simply immersing myself into my work environment instead of leisurely sitting at the home computer, and writing at my home computer pace. Admittedly it's only been one day, but I suspect this one small change is going to be beneficial.

Changes are coming for Amy too. The infectious disease specialist has dictated that Amy can not have another central line put in for at least two weeks. That came as a shock to Amy. It was like someone yanking out the safety net from a trapeze artist unannounced. The doc wants to make certain that if another line is put in; the chances of another infection are reduced dramatically. It makes sense, but Amy has had some sort of line that's been used for feeding, fluid intake, medications, blood draws, or whatever for many many months and she is frightened to be without it. It's become a security blanket. As uncomfortable and awkward as the lines have been, and even though she's had to be treated for several infections, those lines have provided her with a certain level of reassurance.

Now that's going to change. There is no choice.

Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott

It's the unknown and it's worrisome.

Yet I can't help but believe that this is exactly what we needed to happen. Maybe it's time to shake things up.

It will be hard. It will take a concentrated effort to make sure she gets proper nutrition. It will mean some medication changes too.

The "system" Amy has mastered to help her cope all these months is going to be revamped if not abolished altogether.

I know there will be a lot of hand holding in the process and no doubt some finger pointing resistance. But I'm also going to embrace Amy and this opportunity... because perhaps as a result of all this we will become a little less fearful of the unknown.

I have to think that will be a change for the better.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~Robert C. Gallagher