Monday, October 25, 2004


It's easy to distract ourselves in times like these. The flickering light of the TV....the babbling of political blather. Thoughts of house cleaning and chores left undone.

Work, worries, wonderment...

Point me in any direction and I can divert my outward attention for at least a little while.

I can write, walk, and wrestle with the checkbook. Amy can crochet, or at least cuss at crocheting. We both can complain about dogs with dementia, and concentrate on crosswords.

Today we spent distracting each well as leaving each other to our own distractions. That was fine. Time moves too slow when there are so many unknowns.

Since Amy will be severely reduced on food intake after tomorrow's surgery, actually after midnight tonight, she's been eating ice cream sandwiches like George Foreman devours...well probably everything in sight. Enough pain medication and she can eat and she's not skimping on the pain meds at this point.

We had hoped to go eat horribly greasy barbecue at a restaurant where Amy had her "last supper" with family four years ago when she originally underwent her first major gastric surgery, it would have been painful but worth it...but we discovered they close early on Mondays.

That was okay...there was a Wal-Mart nearby....they sell ice cream sandwiches. We didn't skimp...I'll walk them off later.

We haven't skimped on prayer either....but we also haven't shortchanged praise.

Tomorrow there will fears but there will also be faith and friendship. There will strong prayers spoken aloud and silent pleas murmured amid tears.

And there will be recognition.

We are blessed. This long ordeal has made us stronger.

It has steeled us spiritually, tested us emotionally, and come close to ruining us financially...but we still marvel at the mystery of it...we have unmasked emotions and unburdened ourselves from delusions.

Pain, challenge, struggles and fear...those are all distractions too...from the revelation that we are not in control.

Tonight Amy and I will hold each other close, facing our God and say in all honesty, " We are powerless without You."

There is no distracting us from the power within that truth.

O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God. - Psalm 59:17