Thursday, August 05, 2004


I fixed something!

At least temporarily.

Regular readers of my exploits are well acquainted with my lack of skills. I believe up until today the only things I've ever had regular success at fixing were pets, and I accomplished that by turning away and then writing someone a check.

I fully intended to head out on a walk when I got back from the hospital today but I became distracted, first with the website, then by a call from Amy's surgeon. He and I seem to keep missing each other so today I left word virtually everywhere in the hospital for him to call me, and he did. I have a better idea of his thoughts now. He has a better idea of mine. As far as Amy is concerned, patience is still the order of the day.

Anyway, it was a fairly long conversation and by the time it ended I knew it was too hot to walk so I decided to do the unthinkable: straighten up our computer room. Our philosophy for this room has basically been that it appears clean as long you don't turn your head away from the computer screen and look in any direction.

It turned into more of a project than I expected, and I was about to declare the job complete when I decided to move the fan which we use primarily for the benefit of the dogs, who stay up here most of the time. I grabbed the fan and heard, "CRACK!"

Not good.

This is one of those floor stand fans, which I think we bought at Big Lots for 99 cents and four sticks of gum. I knew it wasn't going to stand up to intensive use, but I did expect to be able to move it occasionally. Fully aware that I have no luck with repair jobs of any form I cautiously eyed the fans innards, and I actually managed to locate the problem. It was the nut that holds the back of fan guard to the housing. Since this fan was such a bargain, this key piece which holds the entire thing together is made of the most sturdy substance known to plastic.

I was able to disassemble the fan enough to get to the nut while still feeling fairly confident that I could put things back together, and had no difficulty screwing the nut back in place. It was a little challenging getting the fan guards on again - okay, getting them on again right side up - but I managed to do it. I felt proud until I turned the thing on and nothing happened.

I'm still not certain why this plastic nut has anything to do with the way the fan motor turns, but it does...believe me. I took everything apart, turned on the fan, and it started spinning like someone from Washington appearing on a Sunday morning talk show. I put it back together....nothing.

I finally deduced the nut was cracked. Somewhere in this house there are 18 little vials of superglue, I know because I've bought them all, each time saying, "I know we have super glue in this house somewhere". As with all the previous occasions, today I couldn't find any of them, but I wasn't going to out and buy another.

So I kept at it, trying to get the nut in place enough to convince the motor to spin. Suddenly, I succeeded!

But, when I put the fan guard on...nothing.

This process was repeated more times than I care to admit before somehow I got the stupid thing put together and it actually worked. It's still working, although admittedly I don't know why.

It's not making any funny sounds, and I have no plans to touch it so it should continue to function.

Once I was convinced it wasn't going to fall apart and the fan blade wasn't going to fly off like something from a rejected Wes Craven script, I couldn't help but stand back and admire my handiwork with a new found sense of accomplishment.

I actually put my hands on my hips and laughed haughtily, "I shall be defeated by no fan!"