Tuesday, June 08, 2004

My Apologies To The Lady Of Avon

I think I was rude to the Avon lady.

Normally when I take a nap in the middle of the day, which God willing is every day, I turn off the ringer on the house phone, put my cell phone in another part of the house by Amy, close myself in our bedroom, turn on the floor fan which makes about as much noise as an f-14 fighter jet, put in earplugs, and adorn my face with a charming little sleep mask given me recently by the local Baptist hospital system as a promotional tschoske - I don't know if they really expected me wear it, but as soon as I saw it I said, "Hey, I can use that!"

By the way, if you're under the impression that news coverage can't be influenced, at least I only wear blinders to sleep.

Anyway, I block out the world. I take my napping seriously.

This week Amy is in the hospital and my boss is on vacation which technically puts me in charge...at least at work. Part of the downside of that is that I can't turn off any of my phones...the upside is I can sleep anywhere I want in the house. Today, all of the ingredients of a good nap came together. It's not excessively hot, it's raining on and off, I "accidentally" doubled up the medication for Winston the special needs dog, and another hospital bill came in the mail making me want to go fetal.

I curled up on the couch and started watching a movie (Matchstick Men - haven't made it through it yet so I can't tell you if it's worth renting)...I promptly fell asleep.

Somewhere during that blissful state of oblivion the phone rang and it was the Avon lady. This wasn't a "ding dong Avon calling" sales call...I think Amy has actual friends who are Avon ladies with whom she has some barter arrangement for computer work in return for overpriced stuff that smells good. Anyway, I'm not real good on the phone to begin with, when the phone is responsible for Nappus Interruptus I'm even worse.

I vaguely remember the very pleasant woman asking for Amy, and me saying she was in the hospital. The woman naturally was curious as to how long Amy would be hospitalized, what she was in for, etc. I didn't satisfy her with my response. In truth I think I ignored all her questions and grunted, "I'll tell her you called". She was still saying something when I hung up and rolled back over on the couch trying to find a place unspoiled by my drool.

Now, I am awake and refreshed (it was a good nap) but I feel a little guilty.

I'll have to figure out a way to make it up to the Avon lady....if only the Fuller Brush man was still around.