Friday, June 11, 2004

The Flippin' Birds

Okay, one update to a previous post. The "cute" little birds on our porch all grew up. They did all fly away....for about an hour. Then they all came back...or some other group of barn swallows moved in.

I walked out this morning and there were seven grown birds all crammed into the nest...I thought, "How cute" until they ALL started to dive bomb me.
I ran to my car, clutching my tea and briefcase looking like a character from a b-movie escaping marching zombies. I was half awake and in total disbelief.

I walked out to the mailbox a few minutes ago - yes, I forgot there was no mail today - and upon my return I was assaulted...not by Mama and Papa protecting their babies, but by at least 4 grown swallows. Where before one might squawk and another might dive all of them attack...en masse! I was tempted to get a baseball bat, but then I actually had the passing thought that for the only time in my life I might swing a bat and hit something, and I'd feel terrible....probably. I also wondered of what else are these maniacal winged beasts capable? Could they get meaner or call in reinforcements?

One thing is for certain...this is not a little family of birdies....this is a gang.

I don't share this revelation lightly. How embarrassing is it to say, "Did I mention I'm living in fear...of the tiny barn swallows on my porch"?

I struggled for a solution and even briefly toyed with the idea of renting a cat.

Googling the phrase "rent-a-cat" however resulted in this....

Apparently the Dollar Rent-a-Car folks in Japan need a better translator.

It did help me realize the only way I was going to survive this assault though.

Laugh if off....and run.