Sunday, March 14, 2004


This morning I was feeling disillusioned and I prayed for strength.

Amy led singing in church today, realizing moments before we got started that she didn't have the pain medication she thought we had brought. Our Pastor had taken today off and that meant church wasn't quite as organized, not that our church is ever very organized, but that also put an additional strain on Amy. I watched her cry quietly moments before services started, and then I saw her do what had to be done. She sang to God as she always does with heartfelt gratitude.

After church I watched Amy collapse as we rushed home to the medications she needed and the rest she deserved.

My friend Claud was in church today. Claud has a booming voice and a loving heart. I didn't notice he was there until services were underway and I heard his voice. After church I went over to greet him. I shook his hand and joked that I always liked to introduce myself to visitors. It's been a while since Claud has been able to attend. He told me, "Michael, you know how you and Amy have struggled physically this past year...I have struggled the same way mentally." I held onto his hand and tried to assure him I understood, and that having him in church on Sunday was inspirational to me. Claud has wrestled demons alone for far too long.

Our friend Tim preached today. Tim was a pastor of his own church until recently when his marriage fell apart due to those ill defined reasons that cause marriages to sometimes fail. He has struggled, and he has survived. Leaders of the church Tim had been pastoring told him one thing and then did another. It left him hurt and angry. Our church has done its best to offer a place to heal. I didn't think Tim would ever preach again and I'm still fairly certain he will never return to the ministry as a career. Today though, Tim was strong enough to recognize the gifts God has given him and to share them. It couldn't have been easy.

I prayed for strength today.

God showed me courage.

Do good to your servant, and I will live; I will obey your word.
Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law
- Psalm 119:17-18