Tuesday, January 27, 2004


I have been thinking about the nature of surrender.

In many respects I've been forced to surrender the decisions about Amy's health care to the medical professionals. I've fought for information wherever possible, but in the end I have to have faith in their judgement. It's never easy.

Tonight I wrote out some thoughts on surrender but decided they were more appropriate for some whining teenager's diary, so I deleted them.

I sloughed it off thinking surrender is for chickens...it's for the French.

Then the phone rang.

"Michael, it's Teketha" the voice on the phone said.

Teketha is a woman in my church. The woman whose daughter recently underwent surgery at the same hospital as Amy. She has had a hard time lately too. We've spent some of that time together.

"I'm making chicken and you're coming to dinner." It wasn't an offer, it was more like marching orders. Teketha is a strong willed woman.

I hemmed and hawed and made excuses.

"I just got home after making two trips to the hospital today. I've been up since 2 a.m. I'd be lousy dinner company."

"You can just come over and grab a plate and leave!"

Teketha is a persistent woman.

I thanked her for her offer again, and whined some more.

"I really just preheated the oven to put in a frozen pizza. I'm in my sweat pants...I'm all grubby."

"I'm a good cook. Who wants frozen pizza? You'll want my chicken!"

Teketha is a very caring woman.

"I really am okay, you don't have to take care of me", I assured her.

"I don't have to do anything, but you have to eat my chicken. You stay in your grubby clothes and when it's cooked we'll bring it to you!"

Teketha is not French.

Sometimes you have to let the church be the church.

This is a lesson I have preached, but in truth I have not practiced real well.

Thank you God, for giving me that lesson tonight...to chew on.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!