Wednesday, January 07, 2004


Amy is feeling better today than at any time in the past three weeks. I'm trying to avoid the obvious conclusion that all she really needs to be healthy is to get away from me for the night.

It was the usual story at the hospital today. Tests scheduled. Tests delayed. Tests postponed until tomorrow. An infectious disease doc wants more info, but we're now getting preliminary indications that Amy could come home for a couple of weeks of IV antibiotic treatment before any surgery is decided upon.

I've become so well acquainted with these conflicting medicinal scenarios now that it's almost frightening.

At the doctor's office yesterday, Amy and I ran into a young couple we know. The young woman had a similar surgery to Amy's original operation and has now developed a bizarre liver ailment which is most likely not related. However the doctors want to make sure of that, so she and her husband were playing the waiting game for the surgeon as were we.

Her husband was not tolerating it well.

He was fuming. His anger and tension festered to the point where his feelings permeated the room like a dense and frightening fog.

I wanted so much to try to console him, but I couldn't get past his wall of rage with my initial attempts at conversation.

Tonight at church, the mother of that young woman asked me to try to counsel her daughter's husband. She said he was so angry that he was hindering rather than helping her daughter's recovery. I could certainly see how that was likely, but I'm going to have sleep and pray on her request.

It's not that I don't know what to say to this young man. I don't know if he's ready to hear it.

I would assure him that his anger at this twist of fate is justified. I would let him know his frustration with the poor diagnostic and communication skills of the medical community is understandable. I would tell him I fathom his fear.

I'd let him know I've gone through much the same thing.

Then I would give him three words of advice:

Get over it.

You see, it's a trap.

Amid all that confusion and angst, in truth this young man is really upset about only one thing.

He's infuriated that he's not in control.

What he hasn't learned is that he never will be.

There is a beauty and a portion of peace in that truth, but perhaps each of us must discover that on our own.

Job 37:14

"Listen to this, Job; stop and consider God's wonders."