Thursday, May 22, 2003


They named him Everett Joseph and were going to call him E.J.

He was born tonight. He died tonight.

I was preparing to leave for Lisa's "Hero's Dinner" when the call friend John. I didn't recognize his voice. I could hear only his pain.

John's wife, Denise, was in "full blown labor". He didn't have to say anything more. I knew.

Denise was 22 weeks along. The pregnancy was a surprise and a blessing, but it had also been shrouded in the dark whisper of fear. Several years ago John and Denise lost another baby, eight and half months into the pregnancy.

A little girl.

E.J. was born as I sat at Lisa's dinner without her mother by my side. Amy was instead in a hospital delivery room beside Denise as she became a mother again.

E.J. died as I drove home from the banquet sobbing and thanking God for the blessing of healthy children.

I pray that John and Denise will eventually be able to carry these wounds with grace. They will always be wounds..they will never be scars. From this you do not heal.

Why would God allow such suffering? I do not know.

I do know I believe in God.

I know at times like tonight I will have to believe without all the answers.

PSALM 119:28

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.